Book Blog #2, Post 2: How to Grow an Unshakable Core by Dr. Rick Hanson

As I’ve continued to read How to Grow an Unshakable Core by Dr. Rick Hanson, I have learned numerous mindfulness techniques that I am hoping to implement in my life with some time and practice. The author of this self-care book, Rick Hanson, is a psychologist who is recognized for his expertise in positive psychology and contemplative neuroscience. His strong background in psychology and neuroscience combined with his practical, useful applications for self-growth make this book a highly suggested read. 

One chapter that really resonated with me was about self-compassion. Throughout middle school and especially throughout high school, I struggled with negative self-talk. I would criticize myself for not performing as well as I hoped on a test, believing that I was not living up to my parents’ expectations, and comparing myself to people who were achieving more than me. Together, my mind was constantly inundated with self-depreciated thoughts, and I had no compassion toward myself. Eventually, I hit a wall and knew that I needed to get in touch with myself in order to heal and grow. While I have definitely gotten better at teaching myself kindness, I definitely still struggle with feelings of unworthiness here and there. Hanson emphasizes in this book that the fundamental key process to positive brain change is that you must practice kindness and encouragement. Without repetition, you will not be able to turn your thoughts and feelings into lasting strengths. Hanson walks his readers through a mindfulness practice to yield more self-compassion. He tells his readers to think about times where they have felt cared about by people, pets, or spiritual beings. Then think about a time where you have had compassion for someone who was going through a hardship and get a sense of their burdens, worries, and sufferings. Knowing what compassion feels and looks like, attempt to apply it to your own suffering and treat yourself with the same kindness that you would a friend experiencing a similar situation. Hanson then suggests the reader to place their hand over their heart and repeat these phrases “May I not suffer… may these hurt feelings pass.. May I not worry so much… May I heal from this illness.” At first read, I thought this practice was silly and impractical but later in the week as I struggled with negative thoughts, I decided to test out Hanson’s advice. 

As I walked through Hanson’s self-compassion practice on my own, I immediately thought of my Nana. She was a kind, selfless woman who showered me with unconditional love. Whenever I was upset and crying, she would hold my hand and rub my head telling me that everything was going to be okay. She would say “life is too short to be worrying and crying about this.” In that moment of negative self-talk I imagined myself in my Nana’s arms being cared for. I would never say the things I say to myself to my Nana so I should start being kinder to myself. Hanson’s practice made me reevaluate how I treat myself and how I need to implement more compassion into my life.